Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome

I recently came across this amusing article at Brain Bucket Magazine, and wanted to share my answers to the following questions that may indicate you have MAS (Motorcycling Addiction Syndrome).

  • I have gone riding when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.
    • Very often. Clears my head.
  • I have gone on riding binges of several tanks of gas or more in a day.
    • Five tanks at ~150 miles per tank one day.
  • I ride rapidly, often ‘gulping’ roads.
    • I don’t ride rapidly. I spiritedly speed.
  • I have sometimes ridden early in the morning or before work.
    • Yep, but not too often. Not a morning person.
  • I have hidden bikes in different places to sneak a ride in without being seen.
    • Good idea!
  • Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to ride motorcycles.
    • Mmmm, yea.
  • Sometimes I find myself analyzing sections of roads as if I were riding, even while in cars.
    • All the time, but I’m rarely in a car. When I am driving in a car I lean my body and twist my head into the turn. I just hope I don’t start weighting my pegs in my car and hitting the gas.
  • I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a bike nearby.
    • No, we can talk about bikes.
  • At a boring party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding.
    • Yep, have done that.
  • Riding has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.
    • I did avoid this guy Todd, until I realized he rode and I found myself a new riding buddy.
  • I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a ride.
    • I do that anyways.
  • I have spent money meant for necessities on accessories instead.
    • Frame sliders are a necessity!
  • I have attempted to complete an Iron Butt ride.
    • I’m doing a Saddle Sore 1000 next month.
  • Most of my friends are unapologetic motorcycle riders.
    • I can’t find anyone willing travel as far as I do.
  • I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy riding.
    • I fell asleep with half of my gear on after a grueling 700 mile day.
  • I have suffered ‘blackouts’ or memory loss from a bout of riding.
    • When you’re in the zone you don’t remember it.
  • I have wept, become angry or irrational because of a road I have ridden; or, worse, NOT ridden.
    • I found out that while driving cross country on a two week trip, I was 10 miles away from the famous “Winding Roads Next 77 Miles” on Route 12 in Idaho and failed to take that road. That got me pretty steamed…
  • I have sometimes wished I did not ride so much.
    • I’m comfortable with my obsession.
  • Sometimes I think my riding is out of control.
    • I know my limits and when to call it quits for the day.

If you answered ‘yes’ to three or more of these questions, you may be a motorcycle addict. Affirmative responses to five or more indicates a serious problem…professional help is strongly advised. Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy, to the neglect of friends and family.

  • jay

    Replace “ride” with “doing drugs” and look what we have…….jason is right…

  • Atlas

    Well I can’t argue with that irrefutable Mad Libs line of reasoning. Another weak analogy from Jay, big surprise.

  • jay

    that wasn’t an analogy at all, rather a comment about your drug, er uh i mean motorcycle habit

  • Atlas

    No wonder you make weak analogies all the time. You can’t even identify one.

  • Potter

    Ooo… I love a good fight via blog comment…

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